the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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