I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Text me some of your sweat
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
