So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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