he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
