Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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