he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
