fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
