DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
