I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
