i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
