margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
