how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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