I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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