it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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