The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
