I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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