just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
