I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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