mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
