I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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