Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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