Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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