I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize