You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
