But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
