Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
