when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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