i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
