And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
