It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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