I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
