the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Come on in and take your pants off
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