I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
no, he came in my armpit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize