She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
