What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
