i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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