New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
