Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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