Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
