Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
