this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
