He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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