got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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