I wanna bring you to show and tell
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
