Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
