I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
