I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
