your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
