Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
