Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
