You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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