they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
