I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize