So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
