How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
