Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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