you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
