Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
