I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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