I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
