Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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