wakey wakey hands off snakey
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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