the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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