I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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