i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
