I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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